...so much as just an inevitability. I did not avoid that shopping binge I mentioned on Thursday. I went straight to TJ Maxx after work on Friday and basically got a new wardrobe. It added up to seven new tops, a dress, gym shorts, workout pants, a sweater, a woobie, a corduroy blazer, a Wonderbra and a picture frame for less than $200. And I didn't stop there. Hauled it to the Mills today and found a new pair of jeans, four pairs of earrings, and three pairs of shoes. The upside: I got all of this for approximately one-third of what I would have spent if I'd been paying full price for anything. Or to put it another way: it's a good time to shop right now. At the Maxx I was gleefully throwing $3 shorts and $6 shirts into my cart, giggling to myself and snickering, "Why not?! It's THREE DOLLARS." I tried on eight pairs of jeans at the Gap and luckily the only pair I liked were also on clearance. $19.99, thanks. I was handed an "additional 20% off" coupon when I walked into Off Broadway, so I made off with two pairs of flats for half-off, and a sharp pair of Puma running shoes for $40. Fair enough, right?
And I didn't go to any movies, so that's like $25 I saved (per movie) by not getting ticket, popcorn, sour patch kids, etc, right? I will accept all assurances of justification from anyone who is offering them.
I've also just been unforgivably lazy. I literally didn't leave the house yesterday, or even take off my pajamas. I slept until ten, putzed around on the computer for most of the afternoon, and watched the Kiera Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice while eating pasta with butter and parm, aka my Single Girl meal of choice. The movie was really great, by the way. It's funny how you get over how ridiculous Kiera's face is after you watch her for like thirty minutes. After that movie was over I flipped over to catch the second half of Beautiful Girls, and then the last three-fourths of That Thing You Do. That put me to bed after 1 am, what a party girl!
Today at least I got dressed, met some of my favorite girls for brunch (at Margot, which was amazing, of course), then managed to get all our groceries for the week for $70 (including detergent, when did detergent get so expensive?!). I suppose that victory led to my error in judgment that was the fateful trip to Shopryland. Having had trouble leaving Kroger for less than $200 lately, maybe I ended up just about breaking even.
But really, the overarching significance to this weekend comes in the form of missing my boyfriend like a lovesick middle schooler. I'd like to think, as a woman with a free and independent will, I could handle a long weekend of just taking care of myself. Turns out, I'm completely addicted to the luxury of always having Austin within earshot (or IMshot). I talk out loud to myself a LOT when I'm alone. I feel like I'm forgetting important things. I start to believe that all of our pets are moping around and blaming me for doing some unspeakable thing that has sent Austin away forever. I assign ridiculous significance to the most benign things, like folding (his) socks or making (our) bed. The way I'm mooning about and wishing I could hear his voice, you'd think I was still in the first blush of new love, instead of creeping up on a five year anniversary (we met five years ago, to the day, tomorrow. Crazy, yeah?).
I suppose the good side is that I'm blogging for the second time in a week. It's reassuring to know that if you give me something to complain about, my college concentration-in-creative-writing tendency towards hyperbole and melodrama reappears with a vengeance. It just goes to prove my frequent assertion that most of the time I'm so happy that there is nothing to write about. And that is okay by me.
At least the house is relatively clean, and I've finished all the laundry, and have meals planned and pantry stocked for the upcoming week. I still can't shake the feeling that I've been rather pointless when given two whole days of no obligations. After those first couple of months of seeing almost constant visual progress on house projects, this last month of laziness seems especially wrong. There are so many small and dumb things I could accomplish if I just sat down to do them, like reorganizing my vanity table or my closet. These things bug me every day but I keep refusing to waste precious sloth time on them. Austin is no help here; he is tolerant of my laziness to the point of being encouraging (Delaney: "I didn't even brush my teeth today." Austin: "Good for you, babe.").
The other thing hanging over my head is the continued shambles in which my work inbox remains, and I'm heading in tomorrow for most likely the busiest day of the month. I stayed late on Friday clearing out pressing Billing issues that had come in that day, but many more have come up this weekend and I still remain permanently behind on my bigger project of tracking cancellations. I intended to put a few hours in tonight but so far, I've just been blogging. I tell myself, there's not point in getting burned out by working from home all the time, but the truth is, I'm horribly inefficient when I'm in the office. I have the dual timesucks of working with a gigantic group of good friends, and an inbox that needs (literally) constant maintenance.
But I'm probably not going to be too hard on myself. I'm going to go enjoy a bowl of Golden Grahams for dinner, in my peaceful six-sleeping-pet living room. I'm going to resist the temptation to play another round of that damn Blox game while trying not to call Austin every ten minutes to tell him I miss him. I'm going to hit the sack early tonight because I can expect the dogs to rouse me sometime between 6:30 and 7 in the morning. I'm going to force myself to get up and get to work early and then kick absolute ass at my job that I love until it's time to go pick up my Boo and go home for penne with vodka sauce.
Clearly, I have nothing to complain about.